The Ultimate Guide to Sex Harnesses ─ How to Choose and Use Them Safely

Are you looking to spice up your sex life? Harnesses can be the perfect way to do so – but how can you make sure they are the right fit and used safely?

In this ultimate guide, you’ll learn how to select, use and optimize sex harnesses for a passionate experience. Whether you’re a novice or an experienced user – this guide has plenty of tips and tricks.

Benefits of Using Sex Harnesses


Sex harnesses, also known as strap-ons, are literally a belt that holds a dildo or other toy in place. This harness can be worn by either partner and it allows you to explore new sexual positions, add variety to your sex life, and enhance the pleasure of penetrative sex.

Using a sex harness provides unlimited possibilities during sexual play. A thrusting dildo can provide deep and stimulating penetration while helping to increase blood flow and aid arousal. Many women enjoy strapping on a dildo because it gives them control over the experience and allows them to explore penetrative sex in ways that traditional intercourse may not allow. Partnering your harness with an anal plug or prostate massager can increase both partners’ pleasure for even better results.

Additional benefits of using a sex harness include:

  • hands-free stimulation or G-spot or P-spot stimulation with no effort from the hands
  • increased safety when in certain positions
  • increased confidence for those with physical limitations; improved sense of trust between partners
  • improved confidence for both partners when experimenting with role reversal
  • the possibility of double penetration when using both a penis and a dildo; improved body awareness during solo pleasure sessions or partner play;
  • and lastly, limitless possibilities for creative exploration!

Different Types of Sex Harnesses

Before you embark on your journey into harness exploration, it’s important to learn about the different options and how to use them in a safe, responsible way.

Basic Straps & Cuffs

These are the most basic of all sex harnesses and can be used in almost any position. They attach with straps or clips around the body, and can be adjusted for comfort. Some people use these more as BDSM restraints while others prefer them as part of their kinky playtime.

Whether you opt for leather or fabric straps, ensure that your harness fits snugly and securely without being too tight. Unfasten the adjustable straps one by one before putting them on. Once you have the belt on, check that all closures are in place and double fasten any velvet touch buckles as needed. Before using your strap-on for any action, make sure it’s still secure.

Full-Body Harnesses

These offer more control over movement and have multiple straps that secure your partner’s body in a particular position. They usually cover more than just the genital area and give you control over both arms and legs during sexual activities.



Specifically designed to allow partners to penetrate each other with strap-on dildos, these are commonly used in lesbian relationships but can also accommodate anal and penetrative play between a man and woman as well. The range includes everything from minimalistic jockstrap designs to intricate leather creations with padded cups for extra security or enhanced pleasure during movement.

Spreader Bar Harnesses

Essentially consists of a bar with two dildo stands at either end which connects to four adjustable straps so that one partner remains stationary while their partner moves around freely without mounting anything directly onto them. This type of sex harness is perfect for switching up positions without having to disengage from the dildo altogether; not only does it add some bondage excitement but it also provides all-around stimulation on contact for even greater pleasure.

For safety purposes, make sure your spreader bar is adjustable enough so that there is no way for someone to get injured or stuck in it. A rope joint or metal buckle connection will also provide additional security to help keep the person restrained safely while they take part in whatever activities they’ve chosen. However, be aware of tightness as this could cause long-term nerve damage if not monitored properly.

Support Swings

Support swings allow for hands-free activities which can be great fun when done properly with a trusted partner! Make sure your swing is designed with comfort and safety in mind by checking its weight limit carefully as well as its design features such as maximum stretch length/drop height – usually shown on the box/package – and materials such as foam padding or leather construction (for greater comfort).

You will also want to think about where you plan to hang your swing – depending on ceiling height and other variables – a door jamb hook might be more practical than ceiling hooks – particularly if this constitutes a long-term installation of any kind! Be aware that certain locations may require certain types of anchors which should not normally include drywall screws alone (i.e., look into stud anchors). Experiment with different positions but always practice safe play!

How to Choose the Right One?


When it comes to choosing the right sex harness for your particular needs, there are a few key factors to consider. Firstly, think about the types of activities that you envision performing while wearing the harness. This will help narrow down your choices and ensure that you get a model best suited to your desires and skill level.

Consider the size and shape of the harness as well. Some models designed for anal play are much different than those intended for vaginal usage, so make sure that you know what size is best for you before committing to a purchase. You’ll want something comfortable which won’t rub or cause chafing in any way.

Next, look at materials and construction quality, as this can impact both comfort and safety during use. Different materials offer varying levels of elasticity, friction resistance, durability, and washability – so choose wisely according to what matters most to you!

Finally, when shopping for the perfect sex harness don’t forget accessories! Many models come with extra straps, D-rings, or other attachments which can enhance your experience if used correctly. So be sure to double-check what’s included with each model before making a final choice.


Harnesses are an exciting and enjoyable way to spice up any bedroom adventure and explore sexual activities from a new vantage point.  No matter what type of sex harness or accessory you choose, always make sure to have safe words agreed upon before beginning any sexual activity.

Allow yourself time to practice putting on your new toy with patience, care, and understanding – not only is it necessary but also incredibly fun! Enjoy exploring different positions with your partners or going solo in search of new adventures!

About Nina Smith